When I think of mercy, I think of the Jesus Prayer.
My mom went back to work when I was a teenager, after several years at home with four kids. She started in retail at a big department store while working on some Spanish teaching certifications. Knowing how thoughtful she was, I asked her if she could stand folding sweaters and rehanging dresses all day. She said she didn’t mind it actually, and that it was a good time to use the Jesus Prayer. I learned it that day, and have never forgotten it.
My mom, dancing with my brother at his wedding
The Jesus Prayer was first recorded in The Way of the Pilgrim about a 19th century Russian peasant who wanted to discover the way to “pray unceasingly” as Paul commanded. As he walked the Ukrainian countryside, he chanted what has become known as the Jesus Prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on me.”
The version my mom taught me is known as the Efche for Eastern Orthodox Christians: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy upon me, a sinner.” All variations are based on the cries for mercy from two very different men in Luke 18 – a tax collector and a blind beggar.
That’s one thing I love about the Jesus Prayer: it’s true for everyone, all the time.
Whether we benefit from the system or are outside it, whether we’re connected or not, rich, poor, or somewhere in between, the Jesus Prayer speaks truth to power and to our own souls. Its truth is not only that God is God and we are not, but also that God is good, and that we are dependent.
I find myself praying it while at work, in lines, in bed when I can’t sleep, and for other people that are in need of God’s comfort or healing.
In line for the Free Baby & Kids Goods Exchange at my church Circle of Hope in Philadelphia
I use it as a breath prayer, inhaling “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God,” and exhaling “have mercy on me, a sinner.”
As a breath prayer, it’s naturally calming, helping me to be in my body, release my mind from its laps, and make the connection between my oxygen intake and God’s own dedication. I have also found that it’s like a spiritual GPS for me, the inhale establishing my longitude, and the exhale my latitude, helping me awaken to reality – where I am, whose I am, and what’s happening in and around me.
I’ve had friends wonder if the repetition of “sinner” would feel depressing over time, but I’ve found the opposite to be true. For me, the beginning of the prayer is so dignifying – just being able to remember, at any moment in any kind of day, that there is a Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, who is my Lord, who I am relating to. Asking Christ to have mercy on me, a sinner, then just feels honest and relieving to confess.
I believe that my capacity to extend mercy to others is inextricably related to how well I’m able to internalize my own need for God’s mercy and also consciously receive it. That’s why the topic of mercy makes me think of this ancient prayer, because it has turned seemingly mundane activities, as well as moments of crisis, into opportunities to recognize the delicacy of my existence, and therefore, of everyone else’s too.
My friends and I on the Sickle Cell walk
Author: Vanessa Caruso, M.A., lives in Philadelphia, PA with her husband Steven and their son, Leo. She has been modeling for 10 years, and is very involved in her local church, Circle of Hope, and the grassroots non-profit, Heads Together Haiti. Vanessa was part of CenterQuest’s inaugural cohort, and as a new spiritual director, she is most interested in preparing and protecting a place where realization, inspiration, and healing can take place between a person and a good God.
Vanessa, I so appreciate your statement, “Asking Christ to have mercy on me, a sinner, then just feels honest and relieving to confess.”. One thing I have come to know about God is that using the term “sinners” does not in any way name our identity as sinner, rather it states our waywardness from that which we are. In other words, God always saw us shining as bright as the sun, created in that light and we have chosen to identify ourselves every other way. This to me, seems more about mindfulness and less about the “dirty rags” that certain sects of Christendom has misappropriately named the soul as the “fallen”. In the end, the Jesus prayer is an invitation for me to truly see, like the blind (wo)man. So I appreciate also, your admittance to the Jesus Prayer being a place where dignity is bestowed. I believe this is something Christians need to “work out”. I wonder if this is what St Paul meant when he stated we should “work out our salvation”? Perhaps Paul was asking us to work out what is misconstrued by humanity (bad thinking about who we are). So thank you for reminding me of the value of such a great practice that helps one to be mindful toward the beauty of being God’s beloved. So good!
Thanks so much Val. I like the idea of that being part of how we understand working out our salvation!
“Its truth is not only that God is God and we are not, but also that God is good, and that we are dependent.”
Vanessa, Val,
I’m reminded of a story I just read about Dallas Willard. Someone asked him if he believed in the doctrine of total depravity. Dallas said, “I believe in sufficient depravity.”
Q: “What is that?”
Dallas: “I believe everyone is sufficiently depraved that when we get to heaven no one will be able to say, ‘I merited this.'”*
As you said, Vanessa, it’s true for everyone, all the time. God is good, and we are dependent.
Oops. I meant for my “*” to indicate that the story of Dallas was from Gary Moon’s book, Eternal Living.
Daniel that sort of allows for the mystery of what it truly means to be depraved and redeemed. This is far more comfortable to me than mere certitudes about our souls. Then again, Dallas was a philosopher overall, which helps give more breadth to all things theological.
Vanessa, I appreciate a number of things about this. Firstly, how your Mom’s experience with this wonderful breath prayer helped to encourage your own. And, as a poet and lover of words, I liked this: “I have also found that it’s like a spiritual GPS for me, the inhale establishing my longitude, and the exhale my latitude, helping me awaken to reality – where I am, whose I am, and what’s happening in and around me.” Such a visceral image and useful metaphor. Moreover, you should ask my wife sometime how much Siri and I have become friends. If I can so easily lose geographic direction, my spiritual life can’t be far behind! Well done.
Vanessa, thank you for your beautiful sharing of this prayer and what it means and does for you. It’s interesting sometimes when you get brought the same message, in different versions, in a quite short time. I have not really used the Jesus prayer, only a few times, but it has come to me at in different versions for a quite long time. A couple of weeks ago I read about it and the history with the pilgrim, how it is a prayer to open the heart and how they would start with repeating it a few times and then use it through out the day up to 12000 times. It made me curious to practice it and therefor your sharing today was excellent. Reading your experiences of it made it come more alive to me, to use in the everyday life. Sinner has been my one of my hardest word to relate to in the Bible, I haven’t been a Christian for such a long time. After really trying to understand this word, since it got in the way for me to be able to receive the love of Christ, I have come to a deeper understanding of it where I have peace with it and could feel the release only the few times I have tried the Jesus prayer. To me it’s a letting go of whatever is going on inside and that is always mercy. So again, thank you, it was good timing for me!
Interesting Anna, that your coming to Christ later in life, gave you the advantage of not having the Christian baggage to deal with about the word “sin”. It sounds like you might still be seeking to be enlightened in that but your statement about receiving Christ’s love can be a helpful backdrop to what sin means. Letting go of whatever inside that keeps you from this indeed is an act of mercy for ones self. These things seem to be good lights toward the path of discovering the meaning of sin.
What did we do without her/them?! Nice to ‘see’ you here, Rob. Hope you’re well in Yakima. 😀
Yes in a way you are probably right, because I don’t carry the same issues. As long as sin has emphasis on blame, guilt and condemnation, it will always create separation from God. Viewing sin based on these values made it of course impossible to accept Christ’s call, and understanding sin has therefor been one of my biggest hurdles to pass, and find peace with. To deeper understand that we are sinners, and actually see that as a relief, as humanness, makes it possible to be both a sinner and a lovable and shining soul.